"You are beautiful, intelligent, creative, loving, brave, and worthy of your own admiration and affection."
I had a plan to write something totally different today, but changed my mind. It has been weighing on my mind to address this topic for quite some time now. I was not sure how I was going to approach this topic, on account that it may offend some people. But I have to be real and stay true to myself. I am a very open minded person (in my opinion.) I have never looked at a certain race to be better then another. I grew up in a very blended family, and being raised in NY, I was exposed to many different cultures. I don't judge individuals based on their skin. It's just not in me.
I will start by giving you a little background of where I am coming from. When I was 7 my parents (both Jamaican) got a divorce. This totally devastated me, because my dad moved away to FL. He and I had a very close relationship, so I was sad to lose him. A few months after my parents divorce, my dad called me and told me he met another woman. I was really hurt by this. I thought I'd be the only other girl in my dads life, besides his sisters. I was sad for days, because I felt I was losing my dad again! Word got around to my mom, and family that he met another woman. They all seemed very upset about this, not because he met another woman, but because she was a White woman. I couldn't understand why that even mattered. Who cares what color she is? Can we focus on the fact I am losing my dad here? This was the first time in my life I heard statements like, "White women always think they are better then Black women", and silly things of that sort. Ok, so from there, my dad ended up marrying this woman, and they are still together to this day. Not because he thought she was better, because she was White, but because they are in love, and are meant to be.
"Until you treat everyone as an equal, you have no right to complain about the treatment you receive from others"
Growing up, I was never really accepted by many of the Black girls I went to school with. I was "too White" they would say. I talked White, I dressed White, I acted White. These things always hurt my feelings. I never understood what they meant by "I talked like a white girl." My mother raised me to speak proper English, I cannot help the way that I sound when the words come out of my mouth. That's just my voice you know. I don't believe a person can act like a certain race. I believe you are who you are based upon how you are raised, and who you grow up with. My family is 100% from Jamaica on both sides, down to my brothers. I was raised to be a proper young lady, because that is how my mom (who was raised by British women) was raised. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But I always felt neglected by the Black girls I grew up with, because in their eyes, I was not black enough. My skin is a beautiful shade of brown, and according to my hair, and hips I am definitely a Black girl! So what makes me not black enough?
"In order to see things differently, sometimes you have to see different things?
When I was 20, I met a wonderful man. He happened to me be my next door neighbor at the time. I noticed him one day driving, and knew I had to meet him. We did meet and started hanging out. I liked the fact that he was so cool, and down to earth, and most importantly loved my daughter. 7 years later this man is now my husband. He happens to be a White man. Now did I chose to be with him because he was White-hell no that's so stupid! I hear so many Black women say, "I am so sick of Black men, I need a White man because he will treat me better". This is so silly, because a man is a man. In my opinion just find a good one, his race has nothing to do with how he treats you. I mean am I crazy to think that way? I can honestly say I forget my husband is even white. His race changes nothing about him for me. It is the way he treats me that matters most.
"You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there"
I say ALL of that to say, it annoys me that people in 2015 want to still throw race up in the air, for a reason why things are the way they are. For example. Lately I have been seeing all these things about Woman of Color not standing a fair chance, up against White women in the beauty industry. YouTube vloggers are saying, White women are more successful because the color of their skin! On Instagram, I see many comments of how, companies only showcase White woman in their ads, and on their page. In magazines people are saying, they are lighting Black women's skin, to make them appear more White. Makeup companies only cater to White woman, and offer few shades that cater to Women of Color. I can go on and on, but I won't because I don't think it's right. Why do we live in a society that only sees things as black and white. When does this stop?
Do I think these situations are factual? To a certain extent yes. I can see why some people may be mad. Do I think it is a race thing? I'd like to think not. I mean seriously, the President of the United States is Black, so obviously the Black race can be just as successful as any other race. I believe it all boils down to, how hard you as an individual are willing to work for something. I don't think any true successful person, that will remain successful through out their life, happens over night. I believe if you look at any successful figure, they worked extremely hard to get where they are. I mean I live with a white man, he is not any more successful then I am because he is white. If anything I have way more drive then he does, and encourage him to be better.
"Don't be afraid to do something, because you are scared of what others might think about you"
I have learned plenty of useful tips from watching a White beauty vlogger, as I have from watching a Middle Eastern beauty vlogger, as I have from watching an Asian beauty vlogger, as I have from watching a Black beauty vlogger. I mean duh they all don't look like me, so I have to adjust the technique, but I'm not going to not watch women of all races because they don't look like me! I think it should be like that for everyone. It all boils down to how universal you can be, and how hard you are going to work for what you want. Do light skin Black women get further then darker skin Black woman? Ummm, I mean Oprah got pretty damn far, and she is not light skin to me, so take that how you want it.
Be comfortable and confident in who you are. As women we should support and uplift each other, regardless of our race or skin! We are constantly tearing other women down to make them feel less then. It makes me sad that women do not support each other. It's bad enough society makes us feel like crap. I think if more women, black, white, yellow, orange, green. whatever color you are, tried to work together, we could be a powerful force on this planet.
I have learned to accept who I am. I can not change what I look like, or how I sound. I can only improve myself and become a better person. I will never say I can't reach a certain goal because the color of my skin. I believe you can be ANYTHING you want to be. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Use yours productively. If done right you will reap the benefits of your hard work in the long run.
I know this was a bit of a ramble, but I had to get this off my chest. I hope someone out there understands where I am coming from! Life is to short for hate. Love yourself and others around you. Inspire people to be better. Let's build a stronger generation, and teach them to see beyond the color of ones skin!